While my guitar gently weeps

A little bit off the beat I know, but as I mentioned in my previous blog,
perhaps time for some confessions :-))) If you were hoping for some saucy
story of some island girl on the beach, sorry, not today :-))). Before we left
Cape Town, Jaryd noticed I had my guitar on board. He said he wanted to learn
how to play the guitar. In my sometimes brutally honest way of speaking, I
told him I really don't expect him to share his wife with anyone, and likewise
I also don't share my guitar with anyone. I recommended he goes shopping for a
nice second hand guitar at a pawn shop and he should come right for less than
$50's. I thought he and Nathan may think it nice, buy a cheap nylon string
guitar to learn on, and the guitar can stay on the boat once we have delivered
her to the States. Nathan's kids may find use for it. Instead, Jaryd went to a
proper musical instrument store and came back with a beautiful steel string
guitar for $160. He also got some instructional books etc. Great travelling
guitar, a bit shorter than the normal size guitar, but excellent quality,
heavy, digital tuner built into the guitar and padded bag to keep the guitar
in. I told Jaryd my guitar's name is Angelique, Angy for short.

I had a few guitar lessons from a legend in SA, Ricardo Bornman, nearly
forty years ago. Spent hours every day learning how to play, earned proper
callouses on my finger tips and probably drove my parents a bit mad with
the twang twang twang coming from my room :-))) I practised hard, and once a
week went for my guitar lesson. Ricardo soon told me that I am playing the
guitar technically perfect, but that I now have to add some feeling to my
playing. I grew up in the days when Simon and Garfunkel, Bob Dylan, David
Bowie, Neil Young, JJ Cale, Eric Clapton, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin,
Pink Floyd etc were making music. I had a burning desire to learn how to
play the guitar, and to learn how to express something inside I could not put
in words. I learned to read music, learned to play classical guitar, and
would get lost in my inner world. I was fortunate that there was no tv when I
grew up which only came to SA in '76. I consider tv the biggest waste of
time, the greatest soul destroyer of all time. I know to be grammatically
correct I should write tv in capital letters, I would much rather write the f
word in capital letters. My blog, my rules :-))) In short, I escaped the mind
numbing and soul destroying effect of growing up in front of a tv. Instead I
grew up playing outside in the streets, the parks; the biggest evil of the
day being pinball, which I was also a wizard at :-))) Loved my chopper
bicycle as well, my first real taste of travelling and freedom.

Misspent youth you may cry. Really !!! In my teen years I enjoyed playing
rugby, cricket, and also had a professional tennis coach. My idol was Bjorn
Borg. I read just about all the non- fiction books at our local library.
Fascinating journey of one book leading me to the next. Autobiographies,
philosophies, how to books, travel books, my interests were wide and varied.
The librarian limited me to three books at a time. I pleaded my case with my
mom, she joined, and I could take out six books at a time. At school I
excelled in the subjects I enjoyed, like biology and geography. Took Latin as
a subject, sucked at maths :-))) Would stare out of the window looking at the
clouds drifting by. At night I studied theology at Hebron Theological College
and was a fully ordained minister of the Pentecostal Holiness Church when I
was 18. Gave the lecturers much grief, asking questions that should not be
asked :-))) Think I drove my parents mad with all my why's as well, following
every answer with another why, a genuine why, I really wanted to know and
understand. Unquenchable thirst for knowledge. Beat my uncle at chess at 7,
he was the best chess player in the family. Also read my first book at 7, The
Troubadour. Life in the fairest Cape 300 years ago. Narrow cobbled streets,
horse and cart carriages, sword fights and so on. I was 14 when my dad one
day arrived home from work with an F hole hollow body electrical Ibanez
guitar, with an amp that still worked with valves !!! They first had to warm
up before one could play. Now I could bend strings and sustain notes and make
a lot of noise. Learned to play lead guitar, bass and rhythm. Love you Dad,
love you too Mom :-)))

They allowed me to just be myself, and I could sit up till 2am or whatever
time studying or reading whenever I wanted to. They supported me in all my
endeavours. I was a bit of a free child, a wild child. 4 hours sleep a day
was enough for me. I also read a lot about sailing those days, dreamed of the
day I could get on a boat and float on the water and go where the Wind blows.
Back to my guitar :-))) Life went on, did my compulsory military service, got
married to a Lebanese lady. I was happy and content but the Higher Hand had
other plans for my life. She passed away in '99. Contentment is so contentious
and dangerous. I started my sailing courses in 2000 and sailed from SA to
Madagascar, still my favourite island in the world, extraordinary place that
is. Got married again a year later and became a dad at 38 on 01/07/2003. In
2006 I started my full time sailing career. I carried my late wife's ashes
with me wherever I sailed and for two years sprinkled her ashes all over the
world until there was no more. None of my crew ever knew about this, just
doing my own thing, as usual.

Having gone the full circle with my guitar playing, I am back where I started
again, classical nylon string guitar. Never really stopped playing but played
much less than in my younger days. The last few deliveries I have started
bringing my guitar along and really getting to enjoy her more than ever
before. Maestro Ricardo's words of feeling what you play is only now starting
to happen to me. I feel the vibrations of the strings against my body, I hear
and feel every note, feel the vibrations in my fingers as well. I always
wished that I could sing. My darling daughter expressed the same wish a few
months ago, and super duper uber dad :-))), got on the net, and
found some amazing vocal tutorials available. I paid my dues and joined the
songbirdtree group. And learned that one can actually learn how to sing!!!
An absolute beginner as with most things in life, I can now feel my voice
resonate with the notes I play on my guitar. Never played guitar for show,
and never will. It is like meditating so people can see how in tune you
are, or doing yoga poses in a busy shopping centre .... imagine :-))) Very
few people have heard me play, I only play with and for my daughter really.
Yes, she's also got a guitar. She's much more into dancing and such though,
following her own beautiful journey. And doing exceedingly well at whatever
she does.

Since very young I have been gifted at writing. Whether it was poetry,
advertising, stories, whatever. In primary school my teachers always said
they want to read my books when I grow up. Oops.....vouched never to grow
up :-))) Peter Pan :-((( Seriously though, in high school for example we had
to write a poem for homework. I just sat and let it flow, a long ode, and then
just for kicks, another short poem. I smiled when I saw my marks on both
poems. The teacher first gave me 8/10, then scribbled the marks out and gave
me 9/10, scribbled it out again and gave me 10/10 for both. She thus read both
poems three times! I was looking down and smiling shyly the next day when she
enquired where I got the poems from, that it was impossible for me to have
written those poems. I could have felt insulted, but I understood where she
came from. I also sat back after the poems were penned, read it, covered
my face with my hands and said wow. I thus took her comment as a compliment
and said thanks.

To say just let it flow....yes and no. I often write, rewrite, rewrite, and
rewrite again until it feels just right. A touch of inspiration and buckets of
perspiration. Just that I never really knew what to write about. I like to
keep things real, authentic. Lately I've realised I have tons to write about,
and it is bubbling up inside of me, a fountain or a volcano that is bursting
to explode. So much to be thankful for. So much to be grateful for. So very
blessed. And as I play more and more guitar, and learning to play all my
favourite songs, new songs are starting to take shape. I would wake up from a
dream, and capture the essence in a song. My notebook and pencil and guitar
always next to me in my cabin. Songs about love lost, some crazy fun songs as
well. One of these, translated, "Come let's dance a little more".

Just yesterday, 11/01, I decided it was time to re string my guitar. Got a set
of coloured strings a while ago, six strings, six different colours. Why would
one string your guitar with coloured strings? Why not? Never knew they
existed, never even thought of it. From the bottom up, pink, blue, green,
gold, copper and red. It will take a day or two until the strings are properly
stretched and will stay in tune. I removed all the old strings, cleaned my
guitar thoroughly, oiled the turnkeys, gave her some TLC. Now she is like a
rainbow :-)))

Please. Please please please. Do not think I am special and you are not. We
are most special, each in our own unique way, each with our own contribution
to make to this life. On that note I will sign off today.

Paul

P.S In my next blog I will share our run from St. Helena to Fortaleza, Brazil.
It will be much more about sailing, and much less about playing. We did some
very interesting things with our sails, and with spectacular results. We are
currently sailing 350nm off the Amazon River mouth. Lots and lots of rain and
squalls. Fun times.