What if

You probably have also battled with what if scenarios you conjure in your mind. I was smiling reading our logbook, in capital letters it was recorded by Thomas - WE HIT A WHALE! The only capital entry in our logbook. Very apt considering the size of the whale and the nature of the incident. When I took over watch from Thomas at 2am the next morning, he mentioned that he had a few what if thoughts.

Don has been looking everywhere for any signs of damage, even thinking we could have taken a knock and compromised our hull integrity, with water seeping into the substrate slowly, and maybe years later could cause some damage. Neurotic is how he describes himself.

I understand the what if battle. I was hi-jacked when my daughter was two years old. She was sitting on the back seat when two armed men pointed there guns at me through the window. One at the driver's side and one from the passenger side. I lifted my hands in the air to show them I am not armed, and informed them that I am turning around in my seat to get my daughter from the back seat, which I did, and got out of the car. I let my daughter go and told her to run to the front door of the house where we were at, which she did. They searched me for arms, cellphone, wallet, but found nothing on me. The driver couldn't start the car, got out and asked me to get in and start the car. I noticed he left his 9mm pistol next to the handbrake. For a moment I was thinking of grabbing the pistol, shooting the thug in the passenger seat, his friend outside the door, and for good measure, the driver who dropped them and was still parked behind us. I then thought it could be a fake pistol,
it
could perhaps not be loaded, or not fire if I pull the trigger. And the thug next to me might then take a shot at me. I decided to start the car and got out again. I experienced absolutely zero fear at the time, was deadly calm, and in control of the situation. They sped off, and I followed my daughter to the house. The people there got hysterical when they heard what happened, which obviously got my daughter upset and crying as well. It happened, we got the car back again a few weeks later, and that was it. Except for the what ifs that played in my mind. And there were a whole string of what ifs which I don't care to share. But that was the biggest battle, the sleepless nights and restless dreams afterwards. I soon realized that I am just entertaining something that could have happened, but didn't happen. And Iet it go. I refuse to live in fear, and you choose what to do with the thoughts that come to mind.

I had a few what ifs about the whale incident. We could have been dismasted, we could have lost our rudders and our sail drives, we could have been holed and we could have been out here on a liferaft waiting for a ship to pick us up. I was wondering what personal items I would take with me in the liferaft, besides our flares and other safety equipment. We are geared and trained and equipped for these situations, but we will hopefully never have to use them.

So what if....... don't entertain it for too long. It's a little ego thing I think. Life is for living, and while we are alive, we will make sure to live life, every moment of it.

The reality is, is that we are sailing this beautiful boat on a beautiful ocean with beautiful weather. We should get to Brazil by Friday, and then take the sledge ride up with the Guiana current.

Ons gesels weer vorentoe 😊

Paul



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